I’ve been waiting for this night for four days. We planned a date night. Having twins, we don’t often get much time away from them — which is fine, because we love being with our kids — but we always make sure we set aside special time, just for me and my wife. Tonight was one of those nights.

But it wasn’t just date night. It was a celebration of my mum. Her birthday is on the 29th of September, and she passed away in 2018. So tonight was really special. Not only for me and my wife, but for Mum.

I love you, Mum. You mean the world to me, and I miss you every single day. Just saying your name makes me cry. This one’s for you, Trudy Louise Johnston. My mum. My rock, Proud Indigenous Elder from the Kompahtoo, Awabakal and Dunghutti.

Whenever I had a problem, whenever I finished a shift as a paramedic or a doctor and hopped in the car, the first thing I’d do was reach for the phone and call Mum. She always knew — in just one word — whether I’d had a good day or a bad day. And a “bad day” didn’t mean a bad patient; it meant someone was really sick, someone was going to die, or something tragic had happened.

I was lucky to have her. She was my anchor. When she passed in 2018, for six months I still reached for the dashboard, reaching for my phone, before remembering Mum wasn’t there anymore. That was grief, though I didn’t know it at the time. I acted out, did reckless things, learned the hard way. It wasn’t until I held my kids in my arms for the first time that I truly understood grief — and purpose.

Due to the slow deterioration over 6 to 12 months, losing Mum was the hardest thing our family has ever gone through.

She was just 57 years of age, far too young.

Mum, I love you. Always. ❤️

Now I understand why life is so important, and I’m grateful. Grateful for my wife, Airada for naming our twins Trudy and Johnny after my mum, my guardian angel, because I can be difficult (probably the most difficult person to deal with). Grateful for my twins: Johnny, my boy’s boy, a chip off the old block. And Trudy, my little princess, who loves jewelry and sparkle.

So tonight, on date night, this one’s for you Mum. I love you always. ❤️